Mission Impossible: Catch Me A River

The second part of How to Wash the River-water From Your Trousers

Photo by Jack Anstey on Unsplash

Where we last left our heroine Alyssa, time was ticking down and it was time to execute the mission. Soaking wet from waist to toe, she proceeded to the men’s section in shoes.

Sidebar: I personally find men’s sneakers more comfortable and available in my size. The large sizes in women’s shoes always seem hard to find.

First off, I needed to buy the socks first as buying shoes require great care and attention. Petunia was rather perplexed as to why I did that as opposed to buying the shoes first. Not in the best of moods, I briefly explained that the shoes need to be fitted with the socks on. After a slow checkout, I accomplished having dry socks once more. Darting into the changing room, I exchanged my half wet half dry ensemble for the dirty jeans, clean everything else and the dry socks.

Immediately I spotted a pair of navy and black hiking sneakers that was pleasing to the eye and bonus: they were in my size. Huzzah! I quickly celebrated and in doing so I began to slow down. Petunia asked to see my phone as she wanted to check the time of my bus ticket. I used my fingerprint to unlock the screen for her and went back to fitting on the shoes. My mother always told me to walk up and down in the shoes before you buy them. I have also added the flair of turning around in them and determination to make that wooden floor my runway.

To my shock and horror, Petunia cautioned that my bus was departing at 13:30 and it was 13:20. She proceeded to order me an Uber saying that it was 2 minutes out. Sadly, I had to cut my Caribbean’s Next Top Model dreams short with the sneakers on my feet. I hoisted my bags and presented the shoe with the price tag on the checkout counter.

The guy rightly asked where was the other shoe. I replied that it was on my foot and he said that he needed to see the other shoe. He scanned the bar code and then said that he needed to see the box that the shoes were in as well. At the point the Uber driver was calling my phone, Petunia ran towards me to unlock it again and she took the call on my behalf giving the guy directions to where we were.

The cashier — let’s call him Todd — was satisfied with the box and the shoes. I quickly placed them back on my feet. The 2-minute window was quickly fading and the guy at the checkout proceeded to chat me up asking me where was I from and how long was I there for.

My annoyance began to increase with each passing second. Todd realized that I was not exactly chatty and began to marvel at the design of my *redacted bank* Visa Debit card that I presented for payment. He began a spiel of comments after he tapped the card against the card reader. While Todd was impressed that my transaction went through as the transaction was over the international card limit, Petunia was sporting a heavy foreign accent and deploying delaying tactics asking the driver where he was. Atta girl, that’s my ride or die!

Yes, my best friend stalls Ubers for me

Not a second after Todd tore me the last receipt, I grabbed my bags and speed-walked towards the Uber parked around the corner. Petunia wanted me to run but I was not able. She ran ahead to get in the car and stall for me. I made it to the car and the driver helped me with my bags to be in the trunk. Thanks to our speedy getaway driver, the time was shaved by 1 minute placing us at the bus stop in the nick of time.

The bus driver scanned my e-ticket and told me to have a seat. Out of breath, I stored my bags and gave the Uber driver 5 stars plus a nice review and a tip. Realizing that the bus was not moving off right away, I hopped off the bus and hugged Petunia goodbye thanking her for everything. Not long after, the bus driver and I re-entered the bus to start the journey from Cambridge to London Victoria.

Sounds like all’s well that ends well? You could not be more wrong.

My next bus back to where my sister was delayed by 2 hours causing me to return at 23:00. Never in my time travelling in the UK has a bus arrived so late. Look, if you see Murphy tell him to lose my number and keep away from me!

Thank you for reading. As always, I would like to hear from you. You can email me at jordan.alyss@gmail.com, follow me here on Medium or Instagram: @becomingobsidian. See you next time!

Alyssa is interested in creative technology, writing, self dev. and Women in STEM advocacy. She currently lives in bright, sunny Barbados.